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ANGER

Watch out for Secondary Gain...

Secondary gain is a psychological term for the pay-off you get from having a problem. So what do you get from becoming angry?  Does it give you a feeling of power, as for example when you notice that it intimidates others? Does it give you a feeling of being hard-done-by? Is anger the only way you currently have of protecting yourself from others who might otherwise control or overwhelm you?

This secondary gain will undermine your anger-resolving process unless you get it really clear in your mind that you no longer want such a pay-off. Or that you now have better ways of attaining it.

Bear in mind that not all anger is unhealthy. Sometimes anger is quite appropriate - it can be our final defence against allowing other people to manipulate or dominate us. And it can motivate us to take action against injustice.

Anger is healthy when it is not on-going but is usefully channeled into appropriate action.

The Best Herb for Anxiety: Relief can be yours within a few hours when you take kava kava (Piper methysticum), which appears to calm your nervous system by binding to the brain receptors that promote relaxation. This year scientists reviewed n well-designed human studies on the herb and concluded that kava kava effectively and safely quelled anxiety. You may have seen news stories warning against kava kava because it may cause liver damage, but McCaleb says these findings have not been substantiated in adults with healthy livers. "The major anti-anxiety herb is still kava," he says.

The Best Dose: There are two ways to take kava kava. Take 400 to 500 mg of powdered kava kava capsules up to six times a day until your anxiety subsides. Or stir 1 teaspoon of powdered kava kava (sold in some natural food stores) into 1 cup of hot water. Let it steep for five minutes, strain it, and drink up to six cups a day until your anxiety subsides. If you don't like the taste, stir in a teaspoon of honey. You should begin to notice an improvement a few hours after the first dose, but the best results occur after a month or more of regular use. Do not use kava kava with alcohol, if you are a heavy drinker, or if you have existing liver problems like hepatitis. Do not use kava kava while pregnant or nursing.

In the end you need to find the place in your unconscious mind that is triggering these reactions and to become conscious of it. Psychotherapy can help with that, but with a little commitment you can achieve the same goals with any regular practice of a mind-body skill. Usually the more the merrier. _{Reference:
www.havoca.org  www.healingspacecoaching.com  homepages.nyu.edu  serendip.brynmawr.edu}
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