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Slow down to be more attentive to yourself and your surroundings. It might mean scheduling regular walks or bike rides and stopping to notice some interesting shop or garden along the way. Suggests setting goals in the areas of personal well-being (physical/intellectual/spiritual) , relationships (enhancing existing ones/forming new ones), community activities. The key is to set realistic goals, and time limits (i.e. three months). When we genuinely like ourselves, we become more attractive to other people. We have more to offer others because we are not constantly focused on our own image and reputation. We become better friends because we don't cling. We are secure enough to spend time with a friend because we want to, not because we need to. Do not wait for other people to visit you or speak to you. Try to talk to people you sit next to in class or at meals or in breaks at work. Say hello, or even just smile, at people you pass on the staircase or elsewhere in college or in your workplace. Try to put yourself in new situations where you will meet people with interests in common. Choose activities that you are genuinely interested in and enjoy - societies or sports or voluntary work. Do not, however, over-extend yourself, filling your time with too many things just to avoid being alone. Do not deprive yourself of things you would like to do just because you have nobody to do them with e.g. going to a concert or for a walk, or seeing a film. Try not to be critical of your efforts. Remind yourself that intimate friendships take time to develop. Do not disparage friendships in the belief that only romantic relationships will relieve your loneliness or give you confidence and social status. Build relationships by being a good friend to others. Respond to others and their interests (but do not feign an interest you do not feel). Some people are more at ease in groups and others in 'one to one' situations. Consider your own preferences and 'style'. Find others with similar outlooks and interests. Some of the best friendships have been established through contact with other people that you share a common interest. Few activities bring such a sense of personal satisfaction and the feeling of being connected, than by providing a useful service for those needing it. There are many possibilities - hospitals, animal shelters, recreation centres or a senior's facility, just to name a few. Reach out to others. Rather than turning inward, forget self and really serve others in your Church callings, in personal deeds of compassionate service, in unknown, unheralded personal acts of kindness. Consider attending event or a group as a curious observer rather than with the expectation that it must be fun or the perfect activity for you . Curiosity engages the mind. It encourages us to make connections, and seek answers. If you want to spend time with people, make the first move. Ask someone to join you for lunch or coffee. Then schedule a time and stick to it. For some people, loneliness stems from not knowing the "appropriate" things to do or say socially. If you are concerned about this, check out the local bookstore or library for guides on etiquette, interpersonal relationships, and communicating. Call, write or track down old friends, former colleagues, and others you have lost touch with. A relationship might flourish on having a meal together once a month, a letter or card several times a year, or a real gab session when one or both of you truly need it! Listen to music or read an uplifting book . Take a walk in a park, field or forest Attend a country fair or community event . Play with a pet. Browse through a museum, zoo or art gallery. Study the night sky or visit a planetarium. Trace your family tree. Chart your horoscope. Call a phone-in radio show; tap into a computer chat line. Write a letter to the editor. Take a bubble bath . Cook your favorite meal . Small group counselling can be particularly helpful in providing an opportunity to fully realise that other people suffer difficulties which may be similar to their own. They can compare notes, offer each other support, and learn, in a safe context, something of how other people see them. The prospect of joining a group can feel a bit intimidating at first but it can be an enormous morale booster to realise that you are not alone in your feelings; that you are not particularly weird or unacceptable; that people can respond to you with warmth and understanding; and that you have things to offer other people. Talking to a counsellor one to one can also help you understand and accept yourself better. It can help shift patterns of thought, and expectations that you will be rejected, and help to promote a more open, relaxed way of interacting with people. It can help boost confidence and self-esteem. Cognitive-behavioural techniques can also help, for example by devising strategies for combating social anxieties and for changing the negative thought patterns through which we undermine ourselves. Loneliness can be a pivotal experience in our lives. It can be the leaven that allows us to rise to the next step in our spiritual advancement, or it can be a chain that restrains our progress. In the very act of making up our minds to confront loneliness, half the battle is won.  TopBack Back to article •Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs) INFJ-"Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1.5% of total population. |
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