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Six Common Symptoms of Negative Thinking
HABITUAL NEGATIVE THINKING Rann and Arrott have identified six common areas of negative thinking--often overlooked--that can rob us of success. All are habitual ways of reacting to everyday experiences.
1. Complaining. When we complain, in some subtle way we are saying that the problem needs to be “fixed” by someone other than ourselves. And this, of course, implies that we can’t do anything about it. Whether we realize it or not, complaining really reflects a sense of powerlessness. We hope our plaintive cries will activate someone else to solve the unpleasant or unfair situation in which we find ourselves. Instead, aim for a well thought-out and relatively unemotional effort to correct the problem. Concentrate on the solution, not on the problem. Change it, leave it, accept it or forget about it!
2. Blaming. Whenever we blame, we are telling the Universe (and ourselves) that someone else is responsible for the problem. By doing this, we place our power “over there” rather than “right here.” Don’t give your power away by blaming! Take responsibility for your own life. You are not a victim--other than by choice.
3. Self-criticism (in any form). This goes to the very core of our beliefs. The way we treat ourselves in our habitual thinking is a reflection of our current self-image. Since the Universe takes us at our word, if we want life to treat us well, we need to start by thinking positively about ourselves. This can be a big job for many of us, but we can start by making a written list of our qualities and our positive attributes. It is especially important to not criticize ourselves for past behavior. Every time we put ourselves down, we are limiting the positive flow of good into our world. We can be open to success, or we can close it off. When we criticize ourselves, we are telling the Universe that we don’t really deserve good things in our lives. The one who says, “I can,” and the one who says, “I can’t,” are both right.
4. Criticism (of any kind, including gossip). This usually seems so innocuous that it’s hard to
imagine it could have a negative impact on our own lives, but whenever we are bad-mouthing another
or judging someone else negatively, we are establishing an overall “field” of discord or disharmony
in our consciousness, concentrating on what we don’t like or want.
• Look for things you like about your experiences
• Look for things you admire about people
• Make sure your suggestions are constructive and loving
5. The “Could’a, Should’a, Would’a” Syndrome. This syndrome is common in many people who beat themselves up over something that happened in the past. Another expression of this syndrome is to look back and say, “If only this,” or “If only that.” Guilt and regret are subtle attempts to change the past. We can’t redo the past—but we can change the way we look at it, and we can learn from it, so that we no longer use it as an excuse for limiting our future.
6. Envy. When we envy someone for what they have, we are subtly telling ourselves that not only don’t we have that, but even more importantly, we probably won’t ever have it. Consider two people both looking at the same beautiful home. One thinks, “Ah, that’s gorgeous! One day I will own a home at least as beautiful as that.” The other thinks, “Look at that beautiful home. It almost makes me ache inside to see it. I’d love something like that, but I know it won’t happen.” The first person is mentally accepting (or “claiming”) an equivalent home for themselves, while the second is mentally separating themselves from it because they don’t believe it’s possible for them. Both are probably right. When we envy someone for what they are, we are actually putting ourselves down big time! We may not realize it, but we already do have the same quality as that other person or we wouldn’t be able to recognize it.. Learn to admire people for what they are, and know that you, too, can accomplish wonderful things consistent with your own unique essence and desires.
REVERSING NEGATIVITIY The answer to negative thinking is trained thought. But trained thought, like any skill, requires conscious effort. It does not happen by chance. Rann and Arrott advocate three important steps to developing trained thought: (1) Begin to monitor your thoughts and speech in order to weed out negative thinking, including those thoughts or words that you might not think of as negative or as having much effect on your life. (2) Consciously develop positive thought patterns about everything in your life (yourself, your world and your future, your family and friends—and especially your miracle). (3) Unearth and transform the type of negative thinking (e.g., guilt, worry, envy, resentment, fear, the past, etc.) that blocks the flow of good in your world. Rann and Arrott suggest carrying a small spiral notebook and every time a negative thought comes into your mind, make a little mark on the notebook. Count the marks by 5’s so you can get an idea of how frequently these thoughts come into your mind each day. Then break them down by mornings, afternoons and evenings to see if you’re more positive at certain times of the day. If you can’t manage to do this for two days, then do it for two hours a day. But get started. To change your thinking you first have to know what it is in your thinking that needs changing. This exercise will also give you an idea of the types of negative thoughts you entertain if you make note of them. Write these down as well. You may be astonished at the results. Most people find that until they actually keep track, it’s almost impossible to grasp the frequency and type of negative thinking they entertain. When you have identified your negative thought patterns, choose positive thoughts to replace them. Then, whenever one of these negative thoughts pops up, your job is to replace it with something positive. At first, thinking in a new way may seem like a lot of effort; but it gets progressively easier to reform thought patterns. An important axiom to remember is:
Nature abhors a vacuum.
When monitoring our thinking, we cannot simply “erase” a negative thought. If we do, it will simply
pop right back a second later—and it will keep popping back longer than we can possibly keep
erasing it because our old habitual thought will be at work. We need to replace the negative
thought with a positive thought.
As you shift your attention from what you don’t like or don’t want to what you do want,
your subconscious mind will automatically shift gears and start producing greater good in your life.
You’ll find that the things you thought negatively about just don’t happen as much, or they no
longer bother you at all. It will take the wraps off your own God-given power to create the rich
and abundant life you were born to live.
For more information please visit www.jefferspress.com
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