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How to reach big O? |
| YOUR PURE LIFE | |||||
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"If women become more aware of what works for them when they do reach orgasm, then they can make sure it happens when they want it to," says psychologist Lonnie Barbach, Ph.d., author of The Erotic Edge. Erotica for Couples (Dutton, 1994). It's about paying attention to yourself, learning what you respond to and feeling entitled to create the right mood and moves to guarantee pleasure. To ensure orgasm every time, say sex therapists, you have to take an active role in defining your sex life with your mate--instead of just letting him lead the way.
Knowing your body also means understanding its anatomy. By strengthening the pubococcygeal (PC) muscle--the one that voluntarily stops the flow of urine--women can experience more intense orgasms. According to sex researcher Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., R.N., associate professor, College of Nursing, at Rutgers--the State University of New Jersey, doing Kegel exercises (easy contractions of the PC muscle) daily will enhance your orgasmic capability. "The stronger this muscle is, the stronger a woman's orgasmic response," says Whipple. Here's the routine. Start by contracting the muscle for ten-second intervals (as though you were trying to hold back from urinating), then relaxing it for ten seconds; work up to about 150 sets a day. Practice doing both short, quick contractions and long, sustained ones. For most women, orgasm takes energy and concentration--both of which are in short supply by bedtime. So creating a comfortable, relaxing environment to unwind in is essential. For starters, treat your bedroom as your private sanctuary and surround yourself with pretty bed linens, puffy pillows and scented candles. Then, make a no-talking-about-work rule after ten P.M., so you can focus on just each other. Orgasm-enhancing techniques include rubbing the clitoris during sex, trying different positions, find one's G spot and more. Does the thought of touching yourself during sex make you more uncomfortable than does trying on bathing suits in a communal dressing room? Well, get over it. The clitoris is the most sensitive female body part (it has the most nerve endings). Try manually stimulating your clitoris and the outside of your labia or vulva during intercourse. The clitoris is only one sensitive part of a woman's sexual anatomy," states Lisa Douglass, Ph.D., coauthor of Are We Having Fun Yet? The Intelligent Woman's Guide to Sex (Hyperion, 1997). "Maximum pleasure is achieved when all three parts of what is called the orgasmic crescent -- a curved area that extends from the clitoral tip across the urethral opening (the U spot) all inside the vagina to the G spot -- up stimulated." To locate your G spot, Douglass suggests bringing yourself to erection -- in other words, when your vulva fills with blood and you mentally feel yourself at a point of extreme sexual arousal. Then, use your hands to feel for a super pleasure-producing place usually located two inches -- or a short finger's length -- up your vagina's front wall. "For some women, the spot doesn't immediately feel sexual to the touch. It might feel like you have to pee, but once you get past that, the sensation contributes to the greatest orgasms," she explains. Here's how you or your partner should caress the orgasmic crescent: Manually or orally, touch both the clitoral tip and the U spot while simultaneously applying pressure to the G spot (it is a bean-shaped mass of tissue about halfway between the back of the pubic bone and the top of the cervix, and in many women is the focal point of female sexual arousal). G-Delight is available at the Radical Beauty Clinic in Harley Street (020 7487 3220) and costs pound sterling850. Since the crescent can't be stroked during intercourse, stimulating area is really a form of masturbation or foreplay. The most powerful erogenous zone is the mind, so "if you are distracted by anything during sex, it will be more difficult to climax," says Knopf. "Tension prevents the type of blood circulation that facilitates reaching orgasms easily. Blood doesn't go down to your vagina, your labia don't swell and part, and you don't lubricate enough for penetration." "Letting your stimulation level drop off slightly after you've had an orgasm increases your odds of having another one," Knopf explains. "Few women can receive a long period of direct stimulation without experiencing pain, so have your partner use a lighter, teasing style of touch after you've climaxed, to bring you back to a high level of arousal." About 15 percent original pressure should work. Pelvic-floor exercises are proven to improve orgasm. These are the muscles that pulsate during climax and the stronger the muscles, the more powerful the orgasm. To heighten stimulation, use the latest high-tech vibrators. Boots has a new clitoral stimulator, the Vielle, and it claims to have conducted controlled studies into its efficacy. Anything that increases adrenaline levels will make a woman more responsive - a good run, a ride on a roller coaster and even a cup of coffee kickstarts the central nervous system. For many women, sensuality and relaxation is key to achieving orgasm, so long baths, scented oils and massage can really help. Your clitoris has more nerves than his penis does (reportedly more than 8000), and when it is stimulated your entire genital area fills with blood, giving you that warm, tingly, "aroused" feeling. Blood vessels expand to accommodate the rush, and your pelvic muscles become more and more tense. Your genitals send your brain a message, and your brain tells your muscles to contract. You feel the spasms as an orgasm concentrated in the genitals. The only sensual product endorsed and recommended by Dr. Ruth Westheimer Buy Vibrators at drugstore.com  TopBack Next Your comment |
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