Father Daughter relationship

  • Rita Torres

    2009-08-14 13:22:05
    what age should a father stop seeing his daughter naked?

  • by aynonymous

    2009-08-29 12:36:59

    This is a great question. I don’t know the answer, but my gut says not past the age of 8 or 9, especially if alone. My mother made me take showers with my father up until 6th grade. (I was fully developed and looked like a grown woman.) There was a lot of physical and sexual abuse in my house, and now at 51, I still have memories of the shame I felt in the shower.

  • Sherry Hanson

    2009-09-03 00:24:35
    Marilyn Monroe syndrome here. As the mother of a 14 yr. old son, I feel that a dad should not see his daughter naked once she grows pre-pubesent. That is the stage my son was at when I decided to shield him from my sight as a parent.

  • Leah

    2009-09-18 23:58:36
    6-7 is more than appropriate.

  • Ciara

    2009-09-20 04:55:23
    I have so much hate and blame towards my father. As a 5 year old one day my mother ubruptly took me and my siblings and left my father standing on the doorstep. I have always remembered his face looking so helpless and I wonder why he never stopped my mother and let me go without fighting for me. Now as a 26yo I am pregnant and the father of my baby wants nothing to do with me. Once again I feel disregarded and abandoned. How do I overcome this feeling and hurt?

  • stephanie

    2009-09-27 00:18:55
    ciara you really need especially being alone and pregnant some councelling and a support network as you have what i believe rejection fears as i have had my whole life maybe look around your area for some women groups or community centers etc as they should have information on whats available to you in your local area or state and please always remember it was never ever your fault as to why they left something that took me along time to realize and good luck in the future with you and your little treasure and please try to always think positive and dont let those negative feelings take over especially when being pregnant when your emotions are all over the place

  • editor

    by Faggot15
    Even when you know full well that it is broken.

  • Sammi

    My dad & I fall into the abusive father-victim daughter he always called me dumb, fat & stupid. He always played with my cousins, never with me. When I needed help with homework he would yell “do it yourself”. When I didn’t need help he would stick his two sense in. When I turned 50 he finally told me he loved me. Now I am his caregiver. How ironic we end up together. With the men in my life, I’ve been the rescuer. I married a man like my dad. Mom & dad were soulmates. I’ve always wanted a man to love me like my dad loved my mom. I thought I finally found that man but he is totally obsessed with his teenage daughter. I have come to the conclusion that I will never know what it’s like to have true love with a man

  • richssss @ 04 Feb 2010, 04:23

    well for starters a lot of people on here that reply to the showering with dad age must not be living the reality i see…go to any local pool or ymca and you will see dads and moms with children older than 6 or 7 using the same shower rooms. when i took my daughter (10) to the local ymca i was told the showers were big enough to shower with her…that was suggested to me by a 50yr old WOMAN!… ive seen at least 80% of the time i go there families with older children using them together…at the local pool its the same way…whats with people making an issue of a man simply seeing his daughter…ARE YOU KIDDING? she is 50% his dna…i am a personal care worker and i do personal cares with children of both sexes from 7 to 17…. so someone is going to tell me that i can do personal cares for a 14yo girl but simply seeing my daughter naked is wrong…wow…in different cultures its perfectly normal…and im no doctor but i doubt anyone is fully formed in 6th grade and looks like a woman…that would be a first….in my daughters school sex ed is in 3rd grade..and with the education from their peers and easy access to the internet or their own school library dont think because your child doesnt see your nudity they wont see it…thats just crazy logic..hide yourself all you want..i dont think with your comments any of you actually have children. if we are simply talking about viewing his own daughter then whats the difference if she is seen by her mom or dad…seeing is no crime…there is no law for it….i dont understand the logic of it being wrong…whats he gonna do if he sees her?…how does it hurt her? what is he gonna see he hasnt seen before…breasts?…hair? as a father when i see my daughter i see myself thats what i see..regardless of age.

  • ja5per

    i took nothing to do with my daughter and denied she was mine until 3 years ago when she got married at 23. i gave her a wedding present, we met up and now i am a proud,loving father,friend and grandfather to 3 adoring wee boys. After being married and divorced with 4 sons i now realise that a daughters love has no equal and that i have been blessed by god with these gifts. i worship the ground she walks upon.

  • Christine Montgomery

    Question: My dad was never really involved in my life and now since I’ve turned 18 (which I am now 33), has came around just a little bit, but I’m not real comfortable with this. He came to visit in Oct. and that was the first time I had seen him in 8 years and his first to ever meet my children. Of course, he brought LOTS of toys and wanted them calling him Papa or Grandmpa. I am not comfortable with this because of all those years of being absent from our lives, he now wants to just call him dad and grandpa?? I don’t think so! HE just comes and goes as he pleases and I’m done but yet my compassion gets in the way and I feel sorry for him because I am his only child. Help, please!

  • Earl Sam

    ……although the “typical black man” doesn’t seem to encourage “any” relationship involving opposite sexes regardless, as is seen in some localities around my country and work and other factors do not allow many fathers give sufficient time to helping their daughters with the basic information they need to stay safe and fine;I personally agree with the writer of this article.
    Each time i see pregnant teens on the streets, unmarried, i see failed fathers (also mother anyway).It’s rather unfortunate that these failed fathers put the blame on their daughters and some get to the extent of sending them outta their homes, although rare.
    All i am trying to say is that “we” need to learn.

    ” use common sense”

  • Rattat

    I don’t mean to be rude but this is the most ridiculous article. Why in the world would you say that a father daughter relationship is more important than that with her mother. How unfair! How evil! Please don’t spread that myth! OMG

    • Barb

      I think a father daughter relationship may take extra effort from both sides, simply because the girl and her Mother normally share a common thread and a male doesn’t have that already in place. The understanding and bond one shares with their father will go on to serve a daughter in her adult relationship.

  • coco

    my father is very abusive and in retrospect i feel this has been detrimental in my relationships with men…text book stuff. I am determined to break the cycle…All hope is not lost.

    • 112

      coco, Just your comment alone says that you are very smart and know not to let your experience influence your future. Use your relationship with your father as a learning tool on not what to do. you can always pull a positive out of a negative if you have the desire.

  • Joeemail

    As a Divorced Father how do you deal with a daughter who seems to have no emotions , desire, heart  toward you or anyone whom seems to know her,  seems to careless on my feelings even after i expressed them to her. i have always been there for her and also attend every function and who wants to have a relationship with his daughter, However never get any emotions or feelings back from her is getting very hard to take.
    No she has not been abused or does drugs, gets good grades and does not get into trouble. So that to me is not the issues.
    Spent hours in car driving multiple times and she may have said 5 words, Tried talking to her and get nothing or maybe a yea or no.
    Tried to help her with her future, however she appears not to care.
    I have been to counseling and tried to get her with to go to no avail.
    Counselor mentions oh its just a teenage thing, No its not this has been going on for years,
    I feel more used then anything.
    Just getting very disheartened you cant keep trying only to keep getting kicked in face however i feel maybe just lets things be and if she wants to connect be there for her if she ever needs me, but stop trying to connect with her if she doesn’t want to connect.

    • 112

      Joeemail, The best thing you can do is not try so hard, If she is like this with everyone all you can do is be there when she comes out of her shell. The most important thing is what is there when that happens. If she only is that way with you she is going to eventually see that there is only one man in the world that will love her unconditionally and that is her father, she will realize this eventually.

    • Leah Potter

      you don’t give love with the expectation of getting something back… just give it

  • AnnaElis.

    Fathers should never give up on their daughters no matter what. Just be there.

  • A Good Dad

    Rattat – the father/daughter relationship IS more important than the mother/daughter relationship. It’s not a myth. For the sake of your daughters (if God forbid you have some) get over your jealousy and misandry. You’re very ignorant.

  • 112

    Rattat: The relationship between a father will influence her more in which type of man she is going to be drawn too. Unless a woman is going to eventually develop a relationship with another woman than it only makes sense the bond between father and daughter is very important.

  • Cindy Neumann

    My adult daughter just told me tonight, that, even tho it sounds stupid, she is jealous of all the things her dad does for his daughter with the new wife….who is now and adult as well. When we split up, due to his affair with the new wife…he completely ignored her most of her childhood. We lived 3 blocks away…..now that she is an adult and is married with children of her own, she admitted that she hates reading Facebook posts between the half sister and her dad, about how proud he is of her…..how he loves her, blah blah blah…all the things she never got to experience as a child because of the new wife……it really hurts her feelings and she gets depressed. She worked 3 jobs while attending high school….went on to college….got married, has 2 beautiful children….works a full time job, but is haunted when she has to see the new sickeningly sweet mush that they post online. I just don’t know what to say to her…I wish she would just let him have it and tell him how she really feels….